Introspection: Pain is Inevitable, but Suffering is Optional

Swami Brahmavihari Ji visited Nairobi on 4-5 August, addressing a large gathering at the BAPS Temple. As he eloquently shared the miraculous journey of the Abu Dhabi Temple, he also delivered several pearls of wisdom useful in our everyday lives. One particularly impactful message was about the nature of suffering in life. While Buddha taught that the first noble truth is that suffering is inevitable, Swami Brahmavihari Ji explained that while pain may be unavoidable, as it can be inflicted by circumstances, whether or not we suffer because of that pain is entirely our choice. Pain may be inevitable, but letting that pain convert into suffering is a decision that remains in our hands.

We receive pain in numerous situations. Our hearts ache when we don't get the job we desire. We feel pain when we cannot marry the person of our choice. There's pain when a friend does not invite us to their wedding. Pain arises from both physical and emotional injuries; it comes in our personal lives and social circles. However, these pains do not necessarily equate to suffering. We can choose not to let these pains become suffering and allow them to fade with time. The choice is ours: Do we see the lack of a wedding invitation as simply disappointing news, or do we allow it to take away our sleep and peace of mind? Do we let it remain a passing moment of pain, or do we nurture resentment against the friend? If it doesn't stay in our minds to trouble us, then it does not become suffering.While we cannot always control the external situations that may cause pain, we can choose to protect ourselves from the suffering resulting from them. We can train our mind to be resilient capable of enduring difficult situations without becoming bitter or consumed by suffering. Though it may not be easy to train ourselves in this way, it is possible to develop a mindset akin to a lotus leaf that holds water without getting wet. The Bhagavad Gita refers to this state as 'sthitaprajna,' a state of steady wisdom and neutrality. In such a state, a person remains undisturbed by the waves of happiness and sorrow, pain and pleasure, but stays 'sthitaprajna,' neutral.So next time you face circumstances that trouble you, ask yourself: Do you want them to remain just moments of pain, or will you carry them as a burden of suffering?