My Father, My Guru

Jai Shree Krishna, Jai JalaramThank you Dolarbhai and Yatinbhai for your kind tributes for my late father, Khodidasbhai Dhamecha who as you know passed away peacefully at home in Jamnagar on 14th February aged 89. It’s difficult to summarise and pay tribute to papa because he has achieved so much in his lifetime with the support of his loving wife, my mother, Lalitaben Dhamecha and the help of his brothers, my uncles, Shanti Kaka and Late Jayanti Kaka. When I think about papa one thought keeps coming back to me, he was totally selfless and lived with such humility. Family meant everything to him. My wife Veena and our children, Radhika, Ridhi and Anand, and I have been blessed that we have always lived with our parents, both of whom have always had a profound impact on all of us. Papa was not only a father to me, but he has been my mentor and my guru too. What I have achieved and who I am today is because of him. Some of my father’s unique traits stick out to me, let me share a few: 1. Firstly he led by example, he led a simple life living in the same area, around Stanmore, for the last 50 years, always wanting to stay close to his brothers2. Papa never let anyone down and fulfilled his every obligation. His word was his bond 3. He was extremely loyal to all his friends and extended family members. He strongly believed that as an elder statesmen of the family, it was his duty to sacrifice and compromise for the greater good of the family4. He was very generous with both time and money for the betterment of society. He loved helping people and communities in need and would lead by example and readily give generously 5. He was very well read in business and had been reading the FT since the 1970s. He would regularly highlight articles of interest for me to read6. All his paperwork was properly dated on the top right hand side and immaculately filed7. He was a very proud and well-dressed independent man, he could always be found in a suit and tie, even in the blistering 30 degree Jamnagar heat 8. Papa was always very disciplined and his moral compass was very high. He always treated everyone equally.  The list just goes on....When I reflect on some of his achievements, they too are truly remarkable, let me again share a few;1. In 1968 my parents and 2 of their friends, late Dhanjibhai and late Odhavjibhai, went on a world tour for 5 months, visiting countries in Africa, Europe, North America, Asia, finally going to India before heading back to Kenya. Remember this was when travel was not as easy or as cheap as it is today2. In 1971, papa decided to move to the UK and establish a base here and then asked his brothers to close the operations in Kenya and join him here3. In 1976, the three brothers, my father and his two brothers, opened the first 10,000 square foot cash and carry warehouse in Wembley which has subsequently expanded significantly over the years. 4. In the late 1990s, papa started to step back from the day to day running of the business and divide his time between the UK and India to focus on his philanthropic activities which he was so passionate about. Again, the list is endless.....Papa believed in relationships, and the fact that so many of you are here today, and hundreds more have sent messages, is a testament to his ability to interact with people and to see good in them. Papa’s foresight was that our family would always flourish provided we remained united and strong.  This we have done.  One of the biggest compliments one can give to my father is the fact that our entire family visited him at Jamnagar in India from the time he fell sick till the very end. In fact I think he was thrilled that my four cousin brothers and I were together in Jamnagar for the first time ever during the Christmas break. More than that, however, was the fact that so many of our extended family and friends, who were visiting India for other purposes, made special trips to Jamnagar to also visit Papa.  This you only do for someone you consider special, and is a huge testament to the love and respect that people had for him.  Papa’s heart was always in India so it was fitting that he was born and died in the country he loved. It’s comforting to know that even in his final stages papa didn’t suffer and was never on any antibiotics or painkillers. He left the world peacefully with his family around him. We are immensely grateful to the various JeJe Shree’s and Santos who came to see papa when he wasn’t well and bless him with their Ashirwaads. We are particularly very grateful to Pujya Vrajrajbava Jeje from Baroda for arranging the final ceremony in Haridwar where papa’s ashes were laid to rest in the River Ganges. My father’s absence, not only for me, but for my children, Veena and my mother is best summarised by lines from W.H. Auden:“He was my north, my south, my east and my westMy working week and my restMy noon, my midnight, my talk, my song”Papa, you have left a huge void and we pray you will continue to guide us from the Heavens above.