A famous quote by Elizabeth Gilbert says “a woman's place is in the kitchen, sitting in a comfortable chair, with her feet up, drinking a glass of wine and watching her husband cook dinner.” But, in 2020, women in Asian communities are still the unannounced ambassadors of the kitchen. However, some people believe that times have changed. So, is it okay for women to not cook? We find out.
It's perfectly fine if a woman doesn't want to cook
Careers adviser for professional women, Soma Ghosh said, “I personally love cooking and I don't actually think it's a gender preference. I think that some people just like to cook, and some people don't. I think one of the reasons behind that is because if you've been in a situation where you've been a student where you had to live out at university. Or you've lived on your own. Or had to cook. Many people when they were in lockdown had to learn to cook. Accessibility to cooking is quite easy, you've got YouTube you've got cookery books, you've got cookery programmes. However again it's about if you enjoy it. I'd say it's perfectly fine if a woman doesn't want to cook. It's also about your lifestyle and income. What you want to implement into your lifestyle and how you want to nurture your body and actually your mind.”
Renowned cookbook author Mallika Basu said, “I don’t think it’s acceptable for anyone, male or female, to not cook. Cooking is a basic life skill. It’s not about being expected to feed anyone but about survival and healthy living. You don’t have to be a chef or even enjoy it particularly. But you should be able to have the ability to turn ingredients into simple meals that fill, sustain and comfort.”
But why has that not changed given that women are also breadwinners now?
Suchira Ray said, “Why is it ok for women not to cook? It’s a gendered role isn’t it? An expectation that the female will manage the kitchen. A man would go out to work, hunt and gather and the female would stay at home and be a homemaker. But why has that not changed given that women are also breadwinners now? For the majority it perhaps hasn’t. However we get conflicting messages. Growing up in an Asian middle class household, I personally was never told to cook or taught to cook. I was told to get out of the way. And this was fine with me as I never had the desire to cook nor the patience. And in today’s world where life is made easier for us with precooked meals and ready made packages, including healthy options, it’s ok. We can get by. In my household today my husband is the one who cooks on a regular basis. He has the passion for it, he’s the one who likes fresh food on the table and he likes to experiment with flavours. So it’s a win win for us. Having said that, cooking is a life skill. And like a lot of other life skills this is something One should learn to do. Every human should strive to be self sufficient and fend for themselves. household responsibilities should not just be shared, but could be exchanged from time to time. So whilst yes, it’s fine for women not to cook as it is a gendered role which women themselves promulgate, it’s probably a life skill that everyone irrespective of gender should have.”
Creative baker and author of four books, Chetna Makan is on the same page. She said, “I think if men want to cook, they should be able to cook or manage the kitchen if they want to completely manage.Of course the pandemic has got everyone into the kitchen. I have a daughter and a son. They both made their lunches. It wasn’t like my daughter was cooking for her brother. I’m bringing them up with the thought that I’m trying to teach both of them to cook and they both do equal number of house chores for me. I don’t think there’s any difference between who is really cooking. Whoever wants to cook should be able to cook, whether it’s the kids, man or woman.”
