Life hasn’t been the same for Minreet Kaur since her mother’s myeloma (blood cancer) diagnosis in September 2023. The changes began during the five-month period leading up to the diagnosis, as Minreet gradually took on full responsibility for her parents and the household. After the diagnosis, she made the difficult decision to step away from her full-time career as a journalist, shifting to freelance work in order to focus on caregiving and managing daily life at home.
This is the story of many carers in the community, where caring for a parent isn’t seen as a job but as an act of love. While most will say they wouldn’t have it any other way, they also won’t deny that they are struggling. Ramzi Suleiman, Policy and Public Affairs Manager at Carers Trust, also finds this to be true as he stated that carers from ethnic minority backgrounds, including from Asian backgrounds, are often more disadvantaged than their white counterparts.
He said, “Energy bills have been soaring, food prices are rising and the cost-of-living is only going up. If you’re a carer, it’s hard to cut back on those expenses – you need to keep the house warm, you might have to make sure life-saving equipment is running or special food is bought for the person you look after.
“These pressures are made worse because a lot of carers find it difficult to balance caring and employment. Around two-thirds have had to cut back on their working hours or give up work completely because of the pressure their caring role brings. That leads to huge financial strain and carers are more likely to live in poverty than the wider population.”
Ramzi pointed out that Carer’s Allowance is the main benefit carers can claim but it has hugely complicated rules and, at just £83.30 per week, is the lowest benefit of its kind. “Even those carers who meet its complex eligibility criteria tell us that it doesn’t meet their needs. The Government has just raised the earnings limit for Carer’s Allowance - you can now claim if you earn less than £196 a week - but the system is still woefully inadequate and needs a complete overhaul”, he said.
“I barely get any time to myself”
Minreet has recently started claiming Carer’s Allowance, but it’s only around £81 a week, which is barely anything, “Especially when my weekly shopping alone comes to about £150, with the cost of everything going up, that allowance doesn’t actually help much at all. It feels more like a token gesture than meaningful support.
“Carer’s Allowance might work as a small top-up if you’re able to work alongside caring, but even then, you’re limited in how much work you can do before losing eligibility. The current system doesn’t truly acknowledge the work that unpaid carers do—especially within South Asian communities.”
While the allowance being a mere token is a problem big enough in itself, it doesn’t help that Minreet is constantly exhausted. She is very close to her parents and caring for them is an act of love for her but she feels drained most of the time, trying to juggle it all on her own.
She further added, “I’m the only one managing everything: running the household, looking after two elderly parents, handling errands, appointments, and all the responsibilities both inside and outside the home. There's barely any time left to focus on my own things.
“As for managing freelance work, honestly, I don’t really manage it. I just go with the flow. When I take on assignments, I often end up having to ask for deadline extensions because unexpected things come up. I haven’t figured out a reliable system or balance yet.
“I haven’t been able to return to full-time work. The responsibilities are heavy, and I’m doing it all on my own. I don’t have a partner or children, something I would love to have, but I barely get any time to myself.”
Minreet also addressed the tight-lipped approach around the struggles of carers in the South Asian community. “In our culture, we rarely speak openly about being carers. I feel like I’m one of the few people from my community who has come forward to talk about what it's really like, particularly as an Asian woman. There's this expectation that we just get on with it, that it’s simply our duty. A lot of people assume that because we’re Asian, we’ll just take on the caring responsibilities without question”, she said.
It doesn’t help her situation that her sibling doesn’t really share the responsibilities with her or show up for their parents. Expressing her frustration, she said, “Daughters like me, especially those who are single, carry so much, yet we’re rarely seen or heard. We’re part of a forgotten community—doing everything, with little to no recognition or support.
“There needs to be more support in place for people like us. We should have the same opportunities as others who don’t carry these responsibilities, but with help tailored to our circumstances. Right now, everything falls on us—on top of the care we already provide.
“Unpaid carers are often invisible. Our years of service go unacknowledged. But we do so much. We work incredibly hard—often doing the kind of emotional and physical labour that no one else really wants to do. It takes strength, patience, and a deep sense of love to care for someone every single day.”
“Would I get respite care easily?”
Rajul Tejura compares unpaid carers to unsung heroes, those quietly doing the work out of love and duty, without any recognition. She also feels that this is something that comes to us naturally when we step up to care for our loved ones, it feels like the logical thing to do. “You are not looking for recognition and that’s the beauty of it”, she said.
She looks after her 84-year old young-at-heart mother and if you speak to her, she will tell you that she is the lucky one who gets live in her mother’s care and how it’s a blessing. But this full-time IT consultant cannot deny that things can get hectic for her even with additional help, especially when her mum falls sick.
“I start to feel like I’m drowning, It's like there's this sudden role reversal and I become the parent all of a sudden. And that’s when it really starts.
“When I’m working, I have cameras in the house just so I can check in on her—see if she’s okay, whether she’s had a fall. If I see her heading into the bathroom while I’m on a Teams call, I’ll say, “Guys, can we take a 10-minute break? I just need to check on Mum.””
While her mother does not like Rajul fussing over her at all, it does affect her deeply. “If someone calls me when I’m expecting a doctor’s call, I don’t want to talk. I’m like, “Go away, don’t disturb me.” I become tense and hyper-focused.
“Being an IT consultant, I also travel a lot, which makes it even more challenging. I need to work, of course, but it adds another layer of stress and worry. All of this does take a mental toll. I think that’s only human. If it didn’t affect me, something wouldn’t be right.”
Rajul has a very unique perspective of the need for additional help for carers. According to her, “if the roles were reversed—if this were about a child, particularly a disabled child—they would receive a significant amount of respite care. But in my case, even though I work and I'm actively involved in local politics here in Leicester, and people know me well, would I get respite care that easily? No, I wouldn’t.
“Would the government acknowledge me for the care I provide? Honestly, no, they wouldn’t. In fact, from their perspective, it’s more convenient—and cost-effective—for me to look after my mum at home, rather than placing her in a care home. After all, a care home would cost them far more than the minimal support I receive to care for her myself.”
You have rights, know them
According to Emily Holzhausen CBE, Director of Policy and Public Affairs at Carers UK, Carers are legally entitled to a range of different support and it pays to ensure that you know your rights.
She said, “Carers often say that they've missed out on vital financial or practical support that could have made things easier. Carers are entitled to an assessment of their needs and the local council will look at the emotional and practical support needed. People might also be entitled to a discount on their council tax, and there are other entitlements, too.
“Unpaid carers in the UK provide care worth a staggering £184 billion a year, yet still too often do not receive the recognition or support they need. The reality for many is extremely tough. Knowing your rights as a carer is important to help you feel confident asking for what you need, and in circumstances where your rights are not being met.”
Ramzi Suleiman at Carers Trust also added that Carers also need to be supported to find and stay in employment. Most fundamentally, there are six million carers in the UK and they’re filling the gaps created by the social care crisis. Without the Government finally producing and delivering on a long-term plan for social care, carers will continue to be left to struggle, often with only their local carer organisations for support.
