The year 2020 was a year filled with learnings. The year taught us to slow down from the never-ending rat race and enjoy the things in front of us and spend time with your loved ones. During the lockdown, most of us have reconnected with our friends after a long time. While it's good to cherish all those wonderful times you've had together, have you ever felt yourself investing too much into that friendship compared to your friend?
I caught up with author Dr. Hannah Korrel who explained that wanting closure is specific to each individual, and each individual must go with their "feeling." For example, if you are a "cool" person and have tons of friends and are loved by all, you wouldn't care if the other person has hurt you and would move on. This mentality is commonly portrayed on social media, and through various Netflix shows that being unbothered is much cooler. In contrast, it's different for a person who genuinely cares about details and if things are not going well. This can be deeply upsetting.
Suicides among celebrities are growing. We instantly think that this person would have so many friends and looked like they had many friends but were lonely in reality. Research has shown that it's not about the number of friends but the quality of those friendships. They found this positive effect of friendship in older generations of people, even if they had just one or two quality friends they would live longer.
The pressure of being famous and surrounded by people on social media has impacted mental health. For example, a lack of response from the group chats must mean that your not a good enough person. A survey revealed that many people have just one or two friends and 50% feel lonely. We may feel fearful therefore, we hesitate to voice various issues. Such as, "I'm upset you didn't accept my request on Facebook, or I'm lonely" because no one wants to come off as a person who cares too much. An essential step in friendship is communicating values with your friends that may not be aligned and sharing how we feel about that misalignment or the lack of alignment.
Most of us have had friends who were with us for a long time. We tend to believe that since we've been friends with a particular person for a longer period, they'll always be with us. However, this is not true. Longevity does not necessarily equal quality in friendship. It's not about the number of years that matters but the quality of the relationship. It is good to honor the relationship you had with the person and accept that the two of you have drifted apart. The quality of friends in our lives determines the quality of our health, stress levels, and experiences of life.
Download your free e-book ‘Just in time’ from www.mamtasaha.com, tune into Saha Mindset podcast on Spotify and follow me on Instagram: saha_mamta. Feel free to email too: [email protected] Stay Blessed, Mamta x
