Beauty queen, Miss Leicestershire, Holly Desai will be in the Miss England finale for the second time, after becoming a Miss England runner-up last year. The 23-year-old may come across a beautiful and confident woman now, but there was a time when she struggled with the attenuating effects of anorexia and bulimia. She hopes that her story will encourage people to be strong, and not crave for a skinny body.
“It is hard because there's such a stigma with eating disorders. I'm quite comfortable talking about it now. I realise that, while I'm still in this competition, my story might help other people. I know one of the things I really struggled with was being very embarrassed about having an eating disorder. I knew I had a problem, but I didn't tell anyone. It wasn't until I did that I made the steps to recover.”
After splitting up with her then boyfriend at the age of 20, Holly Desai felt low and needed something to fill a void. That is when her obsession with food had started. She had lost two stones in just a few months, and had gone from a size 10 to a small size six. She would constantly weigh herself.
Although she would be complimented for the way she looked, she did not feel happy from within. “It started off as me trying to get a bit healthier, but I noticed I was losing weight and started weighing myself more and more; it became something I did every morning. I got fitness apps for my phone. They can be great for some people, but I think, in the wrong hands, they can become quite damaging... Within a couple of months I lost about two stones. And people were complimenting me, sadly, asking what my secret was.”
There came a point when it became extremely hard for Holly to handle and he had to do something about it. “I had symptoms of both anorexia and bulimia- periods of being restrictive with my food and then, if I felt I was overeating, purging myself by exercising and throwing up. I would swing between the two. Telling my mum I'd been making myself sick was one of the hardest things- but I was just so relieved that it wasn't a secret anymore. I'd felt so alone and scared for so long. You feel like you're a freak, you feel disgusted in yourself. I was trying to carry on, to appear normal, and it just became too much.”
Her fight against eating disorders has been difficult but she now is at a much better place in life and has the support of her family. Holly is now also a representative for the eating disorder charity, Beat.
Holly's positive message to women is, “Being strong as a woman is one of the best things you can be.”
The Miss England finale will be taking place on Friday 14th August. If you'd like to vote for Holly Desai, text “MISS ENGLAND20” to 63333.
