Our schools do not come even close to teaching overtly the skills for life needed to thrive and survive. Schools were once built to build character for nation builders. A generation of snowflakes, entitled and crackable at the slightest trouble are seen by many a modern social problem.
That’s unfair. From the greatest of all generations – that of my grandparents, those who fought for liberty in a World War to mine and those after me, there is dilution in character traits. So want to know the secret short-cut to fame and success in a 500 word article written in simple rules? Of course you do snowflake. Read on, or jog on. I write to you from a train hurtling to Leeds and a gathering of former pupils of my school.
The most important thing I would tell my younger self, 30 years on, is a character trait which is the need of our time today; something which will see you through to success in all times. There are books on the bestseller list dealing with this – so I am not the first to have come across it. And I am still working on it myself.
The Most Important Lesson in School: Resilience and ‘Anti-Fragility’
Your professional and personal life will fall apart without this. I joined Fulneck Boys School at 13. I was two years behind the other pupils. Resilience came from crying at midnight as I had to translate every word in my German homework, word by word. It did not come from being told I was perfect as I am, but to show courage and fight on. ‘I don’t care if you succeed or fail, I want you to show courage’ was the message from my grandmother. Damn right. Nowadays I fear it would be ‘you’re just wonderful darling.’
And winning the German Prize three years later provided serious devotion and dedication and persistence and resilience and never giving up, even at 13 and 14 is a life lesson well worth paying the price for when I could hear the other pupils playing outside having fun. I promised you this, you will be in demand for the whole of your life if you make the choice to be resilient. You will be wanted personally and professionally.
Resilience does not come from being pampered and told you are perfect – but instead when you hit 93%, being told by your uncle – ‘What happened the other 7%’? That builds resilience and makes you look up, when you think you are at the top. Not from being told your perfect and entitled and wonderful.
Each year our schools dilute the award of top grades, no wonder everyone feels entitled to As and A*s – they are worthless. And this past week a report revealed that 40% of University degrees are First Class. It was 10% when I was at University. Society reinforces mediocrity as excellence.
It’s time our educational establishments toughened up the snowflakes from being entitled to think nothing is ever wrong with them or their fault to looking at themselves first. But that is also the failing of my generation – we blame ourselves too much.
But that’s nothing. The kids I would see in India working at midnight under flickering light bulbs on one meal a day – that’s resilience and thank god I did not have to compete against them. In trying to top exams my fear was never the wealthier students who may have private tutors, it was always those from poorer backgrounds, the quiet ones. They were the real competition – they were hungry. I feared them the most – they could take my top spot.
Respect and Discipline
Was the school fun? Did we laugh lots. Yes, but who gives a f**k – it’s produced a Prime Minister who took his country through a World War and Nobel Prize winning Chemist – oh and the man that designed the building which makes the laws of the most powerful nation on earth and who fought against the British trade in slaves.
Each time I visit my family in Leeds, they ask me, ‘Are you happy?’ They knew what builds true happiness. And it is resilience and anti-fragility. Little wonder the number 1 best selling book at the train station was “The Art of not Giving a F*^k”.
I’m listening to music and cannot decide between ‘Send in the Clowns’ or ‘The Way We Were’ or what I listened to most at school – ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ and ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’!
