What we can learn from this pandemic, or, perhaps what we better learn is how to let others grieve if they have lost someone dear during these testing times. Due to Covid-19 restrictions and social distancing, many could not make it to funerals, not even the immediate family members. Covid-19 or not, if you know someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one here’s what you can do:
Do not spam with missed calls and messages: Drop a message expressing your condolences and a reassurance that you’re around for any help they need during these times. Call them once and speak with kindness and integrity. If they do not answer, don’t call again for a while. Wait for them to revert or understand that they might simply not be in a mental state to talk. Respect their privacy.
Do not forward random messages to them: This is a part of everyday digital etiquette. You can go without forwarding memes, political theories and gossip for a few days. Remember, people take time and have their own ways to cope with a loss of a loved one. Some are resilient, some aren’t. If you see them online on social media or messengers, they might not be free, they could be talking to relatives or people who matter to them more than you do. Do not start calling the moment you see them online. Respect their privacy.
If you are not good at expressing condolence, do not push: Not everyone is crafted to sympathise with someone’s emotional loss. And that’s absolutely acceptable. It’s better not to say anything, than to say something foolish and further bruise someone who is already in emotional pain. Respect their privacy.
Order food for them or leave some home food at their door-step: When someone dies, many families do not use their kitchen due to religious rituals. Some, who may not believe or practice these rituals, may anyway go without cooking for a few days because their appetite falls to zero due to emotional shock. Cooking for them or providing food is also a way of expressing concern. Do that without expecting them to entertain you because you cared to cook and respect their privacy.
Respect their privacy: This etiquette cannot be emphasised enough. Let people take their time to grieve. No one undergoing a human loss wakes up the next day to foot tapping music and excitement to hit the streets.
